Monday, June 08, 2009

How to Talk to a Pregnant Woman, Courtesy of the Kurths

Now that I'm only six weeks away from my due date, I thought I would revisit my friend Karianne's post on appropriate pregnancy responses. Especially since when someone at the YMCA this weekend noticed my belly and my two toddlers and asked, "Are you INSANE?". Later, Jonathan suggested that an appropriate response would have been "Better insane than rude". Anyway, here are The Kurth's guidelines which I wholeheardly support.

The Blue Wire: Things that are (almost) always okay to say to a pregnant woman
5. How are you feeling?
4. You have such a cute pregnant belly.
3. You are so tiny!
2. I can’t believe you are already 8 months pregnant! (This only applies when she is actually 8 months pregnant, of course.)
1. You look great/terrific/fabulous!

The Orange Wire: Things that are sometimes okay to say to a pregnant woman (proceed with caution!):
5. Look at you! You’re showing!
4. You have that pregnant glow.
3. The due date will be here before you know it.
2. You look like you’re ready to pop! or, Any day now, huh? (Only say this if you know she is within a week of the due date or overdue. Otherwise, just don’t go there.)
1. You look ready. (Again, only say this to your friend if you know she is full-term and really ready to have the baby.)

The Red Wire: Things you should never, ever say to a pregnant woman:
5. Do you mean that, or is that just the pregnancy hormones talking?
4. Seriously, what are you going to name the baby?
3. You’re so HUGE!
2. I can’t believe you’re only 8 months pregnant!
1. Are you sure you’re not having twins??

(And don't even get me started on perfect strangers asking "was that planned???")

In summary, when in doubt, a genuine "Congratulations!" always works well.

10 comments:

Aunt Julie said...

I could go smack that person for you!!!
your beautiful, pregnant or not period no questions asked ! love you an miss you kiss those pretty girls.

Karianne said...

Seriously, what is wrong with people? And whatever happened to the days when couples actually WANTED children, and considered them to be a blessing?

Anyway, WE are happy for you! :)

mipackerfan said...

I second what Karianne wrote! People can be so rude. Blessings to you and your family!

Mike said...

So the color of the wires....is that the wire with which you're going to strangle the person?

Kim got a new one a couple times yesterday at the store..."wow, you look miserable." Seriously?? Did you really just say that outloud?

The Wards said...

And yet another one I heard today to add to the list, "How are you going to make it through the next month?".

I informed the woman that I had a full month AND A HALF to "make it though". And that we were all doing just fine.

Michael P. O'connor said...

Sounds like that woman was asking to be knocked out. But gratz again, you should have belted that rude woman.

the larsons said...

I hope our name debates don't fall into the same category as the "what are you going to name the baby" question. I mean no harm - all love from this opinionated friend down south!

deniporter said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
deniporter said...

Dear Kaethe, Don't let some moron ruin your day. You are beautiful, the girls are adorable, and I love you. Other people don't get the opportunity to enjoy your company before, during or after a pregnancy, and they don't get to hug your/our newest family member when he or she arrives! (All in due time!) Deni/Grandma Deni

Karianne said...

Just the other day, one woman asked me -- after finding out I was expecting our third -- "On PURPOSE???"

I nodded and said "Yeah. We LIKE babies."